How A Relationship Breakup Affects Your Pet

After I had learnt to live with the shock of my
11 year relationship ending, I started to go
through another trauma, the loss of my beloved
fluffy tiger (actually a cat, but she thought
otherwise). Not only did I miss her terribly but
I was also concerned about how she would feel
without me. Would she eat properly? Would she
get stressed out looking for me? Would she fight
with the other cat because of misplaced anger?
Unfortunately, for various reasons, I had no
choice but to leave her with my ex and the other
cat. We were so close, she was a real fusspot and
would only ever come to me for cuddles. She was
completely my baby.

Regrettably if you have a strong bond with an
animal then the likelihood is that they will go
through their own heartbreak at the break up and
at losing one of you. Their whole routine and
home life will be completely changed and this
will cause them anxiety and stress.
Unfortunately during the stressful time of
separation our pets are often the last thing
we're thinking about. Of course this is
completely understandable as your head will be a
mess and it's likely your whole life as you knew
it has probably vanished. Most animals will pick
up on the hostility and anger and may be very
scared and confused. Then you have the task of
deciding which one of you will be best to take
care of the pet.

Below are some helpful points when thinking
about your pet during a divorce/separation.

If you have children take into consideration
that they too will have formed strong
attachments to your pets. It is highly
recommended that the pet isn't separated from a
child if at all possible. Stability for them
both is so important at this time. They can be a
huge source of comfort to children when their
parents are separating. Give your child some pet
responsibilities, it will give them something to
focus on. Encourage them to develop a closer
bond to your animal, it will undoubtedly be a
comfort and help to both of them. Remember you
are the adult and can handle this better, help
your child and pet at this time, they'll always
be your family.

Ensure that when you are first sorting out the
terms of your separation that you include any
pets. If you leave this till the end it could
become hard. Make it clear who will care for the
pet and any visitation rights. Don't let it get
confusing, stick to the decision.

Think about your housing arrangements when
deciding with whom the pet will live. Make sure
your pet goes to the person that can give them
the best care and best home, even if this means
the decision isn't you. Outside space and a
comfortable home will be vital points to think
about. Put your needs and wants second, it's not
easy to do, but it is necessary.

If you do end up with the pet then take comfort
from them rather than shutting him or her out of
your problems. They will feel your energy anyway
and their natural instinct will be to help you.
If you have a cat, buy a new cat stand and some
toys to play with them. You can buy cat sprays
that will calm them down like Feliway Feline
Facial Pheromone Diffuser. Give them plenty of
attention so your bond is reinforced. If you
have a dog take it for long walks this will give
you a chance to clear your head and the dog will
enjoy having time just with you.

If you are keeping the family pet then remember
that they will need a lot of love and comfort
when your ex leaves. Regardless of how your
relationship ended or what your opinion is of
your previous partner/spouse, they were a part
of your pet's life.

Seek the advice of your vet straight away if
your pet shows any signs of depression such as
not eating or behavioural problems.

Allow yourself to feel sad if you lose your pet
in the process of divorce/separation. The love
between a pet and their owner is extremely
strong and it will be natural for both of you to
be upset at this loss.

Whatever you do don't argue with your ex in
front of your pet. This could leave them feeling
anxious and scared.

Don't take your anger out on your pet. Just
remember how much they love you and how confused
they are. This will be a new start for them as
well.

Never use your pet as a bargaining tool in your
break up. If you want to do that, bargain
against each other with the furniture, never
with children or animals. Always keep in mind
what is in the best interest for your pet.

It's advisable to only approach the court for
custody if it is a last resort. Try talking to
your ex first or attempt mediation.

For further advice speak to your vet, who should
be able to help with how best to care for your
pet during a divorce or separation, especially
if they become stressed.

Always seek legal advice if you're concerned
about custody or contact with your pet.

----------------------------------------------------
Alex Kelly

As a pet and website owner, my articles are
based on issues I feel are important for fellow
animal lovers.
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the furry member of the family. From pet food,
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